2012, It's been good!

Walking down the halls in passing a gentleman says, "Hello! How are you?" As she forces a smile and holds back tears with one dropping as soon as she replies, "I'm well, how are you?" He says fine, and they both carry on. How often do we pass people daily giving and receiving greetings, yet never taking time to actually find out how that individual is really doing? What are they feeling? What's their pain, their joy, their last blessing?

As 2012 comes to a close, most of us are reassessing our lives, planning changes, adjusting prayers, and looking for something fresh, new, and more grand than before... While searching for that grand blessing, and next breakthrough commit to being 'the next' for someone else. That encouraging word, that bright smile, or a warm, tender hug... I want to be more for someone else! God takes AMAZING care of me, so I can focus on others... Will you join me in the mission to speak life like never before? Go out of your way to give randomly and secretively? Make someone smile on purpose, or pray for a complete stranger on the spot? We can do this!!

2012 gave me a new levels, new lessons, and brought me to my knees, literally. The beginning of the year began with huge declarations and super expectations while in the mist of torturous test in a field of mediocrity. I still sowed and spoke the promise I know God had for me. I found new opportunity and pleasure in another field that connects me to our youth too, officiating. Ha! It's the best hustle yet... Volleyball, Basketball, and Lacrosse keep me extra busy, conditioned, and comfortably compensated. After practically telling God it was time to move, I took big leaps out the county just to show the devil that I wasn't settling and would not accept my beginning as my ending... I left Erwin on my way to Thompson Middle... 40 min drive from my home in Shelby County! Not really certain that was the best move, I kept moving... But God had something better, He just needed to know that I was serious. He moved me back to the county, close to home, and gave me exactly what I asked for... A high school position around people that see my abilities, invest in my talents, and appreciate them.... Now, I'm loving Clay-Chalkville High school teaching P.E. and coaching in a SUPER volleyball program! While altering my career life, God blessed my husband with his own mortgage company that is growing, thriving, and blessing many lives as well.

The middle and end of the year had blessings of celebrating new babies, new unions, new love, and several educational successes of my friends and loved ones. After grand celebrations I found myself needing God like never before. I'm usually the person praying on the spot, giving those random encouraging words, and lefting up the next person's spirit, but I found myself in need of something that only God could give me... Unconditional love and favor! He tested my faith by bringing me to a place where I was forced to seek His face, acknowledge my flaws, and exercise my faith. God will answer our prayers, all in His timing, but it will never be before you get the lesson.

2012 was off the chain HIGH! I'm grateful for new opportunities, fresh connections, solid friendships, a supportive, loving family, a marriage that's covered, and a vision that's guided by the spirit of God. In the mist of this year's challenges and blessings I'm still thankful, grateful, and expecting more! Nope, not greedy and not worthy, just trusting God for the abundant life He has promised those that believe and seek Him. Walk into your new year... On Purpose, with a Purpose!  2013... The Possible Impossible!

STOP!

I'm angry! I'm so freaking upset! I want it all to STOP!!

Stop disrespecting each other with Bitch and Nigga

Stop being defiant, nasty, and rude to adults

Stop sagging and walking like a duck

Stop wearing tight and little to no clothing

Stop ROCKING what they are wearing

Stop allowing boys to treat you like a slut

Stop forcing him to kiss, rub, and touch on you

Stop telling lies about what you're not doing

Stop being a follower

Stop pretending to be dumb

Stop making excuses

Stop waiting to grow up

Stop having sex, especially unprotected

Stop loving the CREW

Stop killing each other

Stop fighting

Stop degrading her

Stop mistreating your family

Stop sending nude pictures of your treasures

Stop making babies

STOP, STOP, STOP!!!

Slow down, pause, STOP long enough for us to tell you that you should START..... To be continued...

The Unknown....

Prior to today the last time I wrote it was about a loss... A tough loss that shouldn't have happen. Today I'm writing about VICTORY and wins, 22 wins to be exact! YEAP, my babies won 22 matches, an entire tournament, and placed 2nd and 3rd in two other tournaments.... Only losing 6 matches this season.... Whew! Not to mention the same team as 8th graders didn't win any games last season. I'm a proud moms!! Because of the wins, sure, but more so because of what we gained along the way. Prior to these kids I was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted with teaching, showing, and coaching because for 6 long years it was like being hit in the face with a skillet and they didn't have the courtesy to warm the pan first.... Exactly! I remember asking God to show me what my future held, a little sneak peek, but each year it seemed more challenging than before, and no doors were opening. I figured out why too... We want so badly to know how the story ends or what's in the next chapter, which sounds cool initially, but in retrospect we don't want to know, aren't mature enough to know, and don't need to know. Why? Because we will eff it up!!! I have a really good group of girls, a Varsity Coach that appreciates me, and wants to share with me all that she knows.... I love it, I respect her, and I'm grateful for my position. See, honestly I spoke a big game of faith, but inside I was "worried" and doubt would show it's ugly head here and there about the unknown. I knew it was preparation, but geez how much preparation does one need...??? For the greatness my heart desires, ALOT!! Those 11 girls bought in to my system, found out they could play, and poured their hearts out on the court. Meanwhile, I was developing into another person... A more knowledgable, motivating, and patient being. Someone that can handle winning because I know what it's like to lose. The unknown is a special place, a place where desires, hard work, goals, faith, and destiny collide. No peeking, no worrying, no anxiety... It's coming, right now you should be getting ready, because it's GONNA knock your socks off! Not only do we expect to win, we prepare to win!!

Fly, Run, Walk, Crawl... Keep moving forward!

"If you can't fly then run. If you can't run then walk. If you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward." -Martin Luther King Jr.

When will "we the people" realize that we encourage others to judge us, create stereotypes, and divide us from what's "acceptable" according to their views, standards, and morals? The issue doesn't fall at the feet of socioeconomic issues that plague many of our families, they fall at the constant generational curses and ignorance that's passed on and on, AND on. We have to move forward... by every means necessary!! Get away from the materialistic desires, and shallow mind sets. Being a young, single mom does not excuse you from what your mother did or did not teach, show, or tell you. Why? Because just as we are responsible for what we know, we are responsible for what we don't know because we know that we don't know it! Something as simple as the type of clothing to wear, what's age appropriate, and how to wear it... What makes tights appropriate? How does a lady sit in a chair? What hair styles are suitable for a 14, and 15 year old? Mom, when can I have a boyfriend? Those small decisions make a huge difference in more important decisions later. How? I'm glad you asked... Daily I see our beautiful, intelligent young girls let it ALL hang out, disrespect each other, and throw themselves at the fellas for a smile.  STOP!! You are beautiful, smart, and DESTINed to be GREAT! Consider your reputation... It follows you. I know because mine has always been accompanied with comments like, "the loud girl with the bad attitude" or "the crazy girl that don't play". Now, truthfully I was loud, didn't play, and sometimes had a jacked up attitude, but I was so much more than that. Unfortunately, nobody talks about the positive first, it's not as exciting and eventful as the negative. Momma and Granny, set an example... They are watching and learning from you!! They are screaming for attention, a hug, an encouraging word, or simply I love you. We have some very talented, outgoing, and motivated young people looking for something to hope for, someone to follow, and something to chase. Let's help them chase BIG dreams, not strive for modiocrity... Let's correct their wrongs, and celebrate their rights... Let's shape minds, and help develop critical thinkers... LET'S do something MORE!!!  Get up, step up, or get the hell out of the way because they are coming... If you're ready or not!!!

Get Your Mind Right!

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week I had my first match as the JV volleyball head coach at CCHS... I was excited, optimistic, and ready... Or so I thought! I did all the preparation physically necessary to succeed, but hadn't thought to check the mindsets of my players. We lost before we touched the court because they didn't expect to win. I hadn't expose them to the mental game of a winner. It's similar to life... We sometimes want something and think we can have it, but if it takes longer than we think is necessary to come to pass or if the opponent looks bigger, doubt kicks in. The new position... Am I qualified? That great mate... Will he/she ever come? The four year college... Can I stay focused and finish?  It's all about our mindset. What are you believing? What's in your heart? Are you hoping to win or are you expecting to win? Stop worrying about what the other team is doing! What are you doing? What's your position? Where do you stand? I hear it's easier to quit, but I never have so I wouldn't know...  Not to say that I haven't been close or wanted to. Those days come for all of us, but I refuse to accept any lie that says I'll do anything but WIN! Tie your shoes, put on your swag, and when you walk in the gym the other team will know you are there to win.... Everything starts with the mind, and then the heart follows.... Get your mind right!!

Message to my former students:

When my teaching journey began I was a fearless, outspoken, 23 year old smartie pants that lacked patience, tact, and sometimes self control. It was my desire to coach volleyball and basketball while motivating you to get active and eat healthy. I didn't consider that I would be learning from you along the way, that some days would be as challenging as they were, or that I would come to need you as much as some of you needed me. Whew! What a grand experience!! From being intentionally pushed and quickly forced to decide if I wanted to hit a 13 year old or keep my career, to being cursed at here and there, to crying with and praying for you, I was stretched, pulled, pushed, and tried from top to bottom. From breakthrough moments in my office, to improving grades to be an A plus student, to building supportive relationships with your parents, long talks about life, simple eye contact in the halls, a random hug without any words, or the thank you cards I found under my office door... You all changed my life! You taught me patience, sacrifice, and compassion. Thank you for challenging my maturity, and exposing my weaknesses.

For those of you that are BIG KIDS now ,thank you for giving me a chance... Thank you for listening, having an open mind, and letting me in! From the bottom gym to those hot days on the track, I believed in you and have always wanted greatness for you. I hope that I made a positive impact that will last a lifetime. One that forced you to press beyond the mediocrity that surrounds and aggressively tries to consume us. I apologize for the impatience and anger that I displayed in my immaturity when you were just "being a teenager". I miss those dance routines you all created for your final exams, the times you attempted to hide in the bleachers when you were suppose to be running on the track, or those badminton games that I always crushed you in.... From the roller blades, to the scooter races, I enjoyed being with you every step of the way!!

Thank you for teaching me what being a teacher is all about.... EVERYTHING I wasnt I can say thanks to you I am today! My future students owe you big time... I love you, I miss you, and you better be doing something GREAT for the world around you!! Eat healthy, exercise daily, and LIVE! "Go get dressed..." ;-)

The tears inside her smile....

Today I really experienced the feelings of compassion, empathy, and heartfelt sorrow for another soul... A soul that's dear to my heart. When trials and tribulations come, we are told they come to make us strong. They come to bless us if we stand and go through it. They come to prepare us for what's next, a new thing. The tough part isn't always going through... It's being willing/able to get to a place of acceptance regarding the situation, and preparing to move forward. To have a vision of what we hope for, faith in a God of immeasurable love and power, and a consistent prayer about something that seems yet to change or improve takes someone that's crazy. Not crazy in a medical term, but crazy in a radical term! I can recall a time when I thought I was going to lose it, but essentially I wasn't even close. I was lost in my emotions, disconnected from reality, willing to sacrifice my life for a desire, a place, a feeling. Really? After finding myself on the right side of that experience, I began to know God in a different way... A way that forced me to trust Him, not the foolishness around me... In such a way that my mouth, mind, and heart were all on the same page. It was refreshing peace in the mist of total chaos.

What's that thing that has put you on the edge? Made you want to quit? We've all been there, some in more challenging places than others. My mom has always told me to remember things could always be worse, and I've tried to keep that with me through life. Although things can be worse, and when the situation I'm facing is the worst that I've experienced, I think it's fair to say that's my worse. As women we have the strength of a roaring lion. A strength that allows us to carry and deliver a human being. A strength that compels us to die for our offspring. A strength that keeps us in unhealthy relationships for the stability of our children. A strength that keeps us silent when we want to explode on the world around us. That strength is a greater power, a spirit from the supernatural world.

Today, reach deep inside of yourself and find that SUPER deep, strong place. The place you can go and be completely transparent... Cry, smile, laugh, and cry again if you need to, but reach that place where your faith keeps you alive. It's in that place that God is begging us to grab on to Him. Where ever you are, whatever you are going through HOLD ON and never let go!! You have a support system that will pray for & with you, while crying and wiping your tears, standing with you until you find your happy place again. HEAD UP, HEELS ON, and SMILE!! Today my prayer is that God hold you in the comfort of His peace. May His love overwhelm your heart, and ease your mind. Your path ahead is covered with abundant greatness, unprecedented favor, and SUPERnatural increase. You are strong and mighty in the Lord. No weapon formed will prosper! God knows your name, you are His FAVORite child, and you are about to run slap into your DREAMS. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Love, I believe in YOU!

"We can love someone so deeply but they may not be the place to invest our lives. On the other hand, just because you can't invest your life in that person doesn't mean you shouldn't or can't love them. It simply means we understand the extent of what we can invest in our love for them. Love does not automatically render the responsibility and strength needed to uphold a life commitment. Be careful who you give your life..... but love whomever you please." - Jada Pinkett

Now, most of you read that with the image of love from the perspective of husband and wife or a girl and a guy; however, I wrote it with the intent to broaden your vision of love. Love reaches far beyond Eros which is that love intended to be shared between a husband and wife, or Storge which is that within your family structure, and Philia which is experienced through friendships and special connections. Love has no boundaries... It's an expression, an action, a feeling, and an overwhelming spirit that we allow to control us often times.

Recall those things you say you love... Not people, just things. Your hobbies, fav past times, foods, music, places you go, etc. Now, think of those people you love... Your 'besties', that super cute guy, your parents, or your friends from your childhood. What are some things you are willing to do and/or would jump at the chance to do for those experiences and those people you love? Think about it... What do you feel right now? Yes, that emotion that fills the bottom of your tummy and rises to tingle in the back of your throat... It's crazy to pay attention to how the body changes simply because of our thoughts, which guide what we do and how we feel.... Now, consider the guys outside that began shooting at each other over a girl, an ugly look, being bumped at that party OR let's recall the girl you couldn't 'stand' to see because she likes what you like, so you went to her home and attacked her. The same power and strength that supports our desire and ability to love for good, it some how has become even stronger in one's desire to dislike or hate, so much so that the resolve to EVERY disagreement is to fight, kill, burn, torture, degrade, or destroy. This is a problem. Something is missing. Why are we ignoring the obvious, rapid, negative epidemic around us? The overwhelming apathy across this nation is apparent, and disheartening. Seriously, where is the Love? The love that stops us from killing children, families, and random people because of our view, thoughts, and emotions at that particular moment... The love that compels us to get involved to make a positive difference? From the shootings in the middle of the streets of Ensley, to the massacre in Colorado, the 40 plus murders over a two week period in Chicago, to the numerous shootings in Toronto.... Where is the Love? 

The love of God is present and here... Agape love! The love that has favored, covered, and strengthen you and yours. The love that has allowed you to be protected in the mist of chaos and turmoil. BUT that love has a purpose in the mist of keeping you... You have the chance to pour love into a situation, a child, a circumstance, an experience, a life. Step up, fight for good, stand strong for better opportunities, and for those that pray.... Keep praying!!! I love you, I believe in you, and I pray that you walk... Dressed up from head to toe, in LOVE!

The World of the Wide Web

Do you have a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Myspace account? Do your children, younger siblings, nieces, and/or nephews have any of those accounts? Can you access their pages? What are they using those sites for? What pics and videos are they posting? What's in their text inbox? What are they accessing on YouTube? Who are they according to the web? 

Recently I began watching this "Frontline" documentary series on the PBS website. It's several different topics ranging from politics, to AIDS, family health, and finance from 2003 to now. The most recent one I watched was titled "Growing Up Online", and it was a mixture of students', parents', and researchers' perspectives on how the social-media world is impacting our youth. Coincidentally, last night I received a very nasty inbox message on my Facebook account from a male student that attends Erwin Middle. I never taught the kid, nor did we ever interact, but for some reason he was compelled to send me four extremely mean, disrespectful, nasty messages. Needless to say, after browsing his pictures to find him holding guns, smoking marijuana, and holding up gang signs, I blocked him, and let it go. The issue that bothers me most is the negative manner in which kids use technology today... From using their phones to record fights and immediately post them on Facebook or YouTube, to posting half-naked/nude pics on the internet. Also, lets not forget the poor and purposely misused grammar to belittle, demean, and verbally abuse each other in status post and comments. Why do our girls think it's "hott" to post pics of themselves with their butts 'tooted' up in the air or them bending over in the camera? Are YOU posting pics like that Mommy, Auntie, Big sister? I will be the first to say I love taking pics and being in front of the camera, but as a teacher, coach, mentor, ADULT, etc. I am mindful of what I post. Kids today are also bullying via the web. There have been several stories of children of all ages committing suicide because they were being picked on, harassed, and abused at school and/or on the web. It's a very sad epidemic that too many of us are ignoring, and discounting as "kids being kids". What makes it even worse is the fact that adults think it's their responsibility to approach/disrespect/fight children for their children. WRONG APPROACH! Parents/adults should step up and stop being 'friends' with their children and GET 'NOSEY'... GET INVOLVED... SET A POSITIVE EXAMPLE... TEACH YOUR KIDS TO BE KIDS!!

The One He Kept for Me...

Today I celebrate my husband, Pierre Brown! The one God decided could do it... Do what you ask? Well, that's a small question with a BIG answer. Guess I'll start from the beginning... May 22, 2009 when we met while at Starz with mutual friends. He decided that you were the one that could push past my bitter, angry spirit...the one that could be patient and restore my hope in relationships...the one that could tolerate my stern demeanor and aggressive tone...the one that could embrace my strong will and independence. Pierre, thank you for all you've been since the day we met! 


 Most females dream about their 'Superman' as a little girl. Some decide they want that guy that's just like their daddy in their quest for love, while others figure it out along the way like I did. Every guy isn't suppose to be the love of your life, they're just apart of the preparation for your destiny. Ladies, be patient, discerning, and prayerful in deciding on a mate. Young girls, focus on what's important during your adolescents... Goals, dreams, standards, and morals. Please don't confuse infatuation or lust with love. Don't get tied up in your teen years on how cute he is! Is he smart? Does he attend church regularly? How does he treat his parents? If you're attempting to date, that's what should be important. Does he have goals and is he working towards them? And please don't give up your " hot-pocket"! 

 Even in college, be mindful of the guys you meet. Are they looking for a relationship, another boo, or just 'the girl to kick it with'? In the relationships that don't last, they didn't last on purpose. Maybe due to immaturity, selfish intentions, and/or bad timing, you invest time only to find that it just wasn't meant to be... That's okay. Doesn't make you or the guy a bad person, just necessary for growth. When love comes... pure, unconditional, lasting, crazy, fun, overwhelming, stupid, silly Love... You will know! All of my relationships aided in my abilities to become a wife, the wife Pierre needs. With prayer as the foundation, Pierre and I grew together. From a very innocent place of laughs, quality time, game nights, eating out, and consistent conversation. Here we are 3 years, and 2 months after meeting, celebrating our FIRST WEDDING ANNIVERSARY today... Woot, woot!! Praise God! Marriage isn't easy. It takes prayer, true commitment, patience, devotion, and hard work. Every day may not be easy, but the many sweet days make it all worth it! Boobie, it's a blessing to have your shoulders to lean on, your chest to rest in, and your unconditional love to bask in. I love you, I'm grateful to be the muse of your obsession, and I'm looking forward to the rest of our lives together. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

A time to kill.... Not the movie!

Wow!! EVERYday there are shootings, murders, kidnappings, etc. but the greatest growing death is satans task to kill, steal, and destroy our hope and faith. I refuse to be captured by fear... There are serious issues surrounding the U.S. and the world actually, that exposes the mental, emotional, and spiritual disparities among us. Does it get better? Seems to be getting worse... Violence and heartless, senseless acts that is. Where does the change start? Who does the change start with? Some would say it's the home environment, lack of father's in the home, socioeconomic issues, low-income, lack of resources, chemical embalances, hormones in the production of foods.... Blah, blah, blah!! C'mon man! WHAT THE HELL?? Yes, hell... That's what it is! Today I will believe in the amazing God that I serve. I will trust Him to help us kill... Kill the thoughts and feelings of dispare, doubt, and worry... Overcome the lack of empathy and compassion for another in pain... Love beyond hate... Leave our homes without being in captivity to the fear of not returning safely. Pray! Pray! Pray! It's not complex, doesn't take "big" words, or long sentences... Talk to your higher being, if it isn't God, like you would talk to a friend. Believe in something greater, much greater and more powerful than you. What does it take for YOU to care? Are you afraid? Has it touched your heart? Do you realize it could be you? Thank you Lord for your protection, your angels surrounding me, my family, those that I love and those that love me, near and far. My students are covered, my friends are covered, my enemies are covered, my coworkers are covered, anyone reading this blog is covered by your grace, mercy, unconditional love, and favor. We need you God, right now! Take over this place! Bless us right now... Strengthen those involved in all these crimes with forgiveness, peace, and unfailing hope. Take over their minds, hearts, and spirits. Peace Lord, we need your peace. Speak to our hearts. Thank you in advance Lord, Amen.

The bumble bee isn't suppose to fly...

You know, babies and toddlers really don't know what they are or are not suppose to do or say at their age. They only absorb what's presented to them. So, if you attempt to teach a 3 year old to read/recite a complex poem, they will rise to the occasion. Obviously they wouldn't read it, but if you repeat it to them enough they will probably memorize it. It's the same for the bumble bee. Its wings are too thin and small to carry such a thick and round frame, but clearly it just took off and began to fly! Life is a lot like that... Circumstances and people teach us that we aren't "suppose" to do certain things or that we are incapable... Maybe even too young, not experienced enough, or not the right fit. Because of our family units, background history, current environment or home situation, you are suppose to fail. KICK ROCKS in FLIP FLOPS to all those jerks!! You can do anything! Actually, more than what you think you can do! For the last 6 years I've been told I'm too young, to aggressive, to combative, my attitude is going to stop me, etc. Although I am a fragment of all those things, even now, I still and always have believed God for a high school head coaching volleyball program, a successful photography business, and a RoCkin sports training organization for our youth. After 4 years of coaching at the junior high level, I became worried that I would be labeled as a 'middle school' coach. I had to get out! Well, lucky for me the school was getting a new high school and I was excited and hopeful about going. WELL, after being 'hoodwinked' I was left behind. Now, after year 6, I understand why I was KEPT, not left, behind. God had something better for me and didn't want the wrong person/people connected to my breakthrough. Today, I'm not only at a high school, but a 6A high school, as the varsity assistant coach and head JV coach to two rising programs. AND I did it without the manipulation of anyone's unsolicited assistance. ALL God! I also had my first P.R.E.P Skills Volleyball Camp and it was a major success!! I'm on my way, in a great direction, to my dreams! It's crazy and AMAZING to recognize that God STILL has a plan even when we fail him daily. Believe in YOU, trust GOD, and expect the BEST! Take chances in faith... Some would say that it takes the first step in the right direction... I say it takes a step, period! Some big, some small, but make a move and in some instances, EXTREME moves!! If that means leaving the security of your parents home, your current company, school system, or simply quitting without any other tangible options, GO FOR IT!! Go outside and chase a bumble bee...You'll be surprised how far you'll GO!

What Are We RoCkin?

It's funny how fashion repeats itself over and over. Years ago, when I was a 7th grader, book-bag purses were in style, and it looks like they are coming back. I rocked one sleeve shirts in my youth as well. Rumpers were fly in my mom's youth, and wedge heels were the bomb. Here we are in 2012, and clothing has come full circle!! The outfits are cute, HOWEVER we should consider body-type when we purchase our clothes. Just because they sell it doesn't mean we have to buy it! Everything isn't for everyone... Be cute, be fresh, be stylish, but be classy, be tasteful, and be dressed 'age' appropriate. Don't let it ALL hang out! It doesn't have to cut off your blood circulation, nor does it need to show your zebra-striped/polka-dot bra and panty set. Obviously, I'm speaking to the younger generation, but 'mom' and 'big sister' the babies are watching us, which means I'm talking to you too. Consider the SUPER short shorts on your well-developed 15 year old or the skin-tight sun dress with the hot pink thong. Let's teach our girls how to be jazzy and classy without showing EVERYTHING! Undergarments are just as important as the clothing we wear. Go get your babies sized for the correct bra, keep them out of the "too little" undies, and model clothing that is appropriate in public. Enjoy being young and carefree... Don't draw the wrong and/or uneccessary attention because you purchased a skirt two sizes TOO small or decided to wear a bra with a blazer (been there, done that). Stay up on the latest fashion if that's your flavor, but rock it in a way that says "I'm kind, I'm smart, I'm important".... Not "I'm easy, I'm loose, I'm misguided". I'm not one that cares about what people think, but I care about what I give them to think!! Be classy, Be jazzy, and Be-YOU-tiful!

Always, Sometimes, Never!

Have you ever taken time to recognize or just consider the type of person you are? What have you overcome? What are you still struggling with? Who have you become? Recall those individuals whom you may have influenced in a positive or negative way? Who are the people that influence(d) you? What are your non-negotiables in life?


There are 3 types of people: Those that always do what they are suppose to do, those that do what they are suppose to do sometimes/most of the time, and those that never do what they are suppose to do. I think it's fair to say that most of us fall into the "sometimes" category, but are much closer to the always side. I would also assert that we have been 1 of the 3 at some point depending on the situation and/or circumstance. 


Today, let's think about those things that put us in all three of those categories, and why? Evaluate what could assist in us being consistently an "always" type person! We know that temptation is inevitable, but we don't have to yield to those temptations. I will be the first to say, 'sometimes' I just decide that I don't want to 'always' do the most logical or right thing... Not that the ladder is necessarily the wrong thing, maybe just not the best thing! Find someone that holds you accountable to do the right thing! That person that will say "you shouldn't do that", "how will that decision impact you?", and/or "you know you're wrong, right?"... If nothing else, someone to just make you think about the situation!  Someone that's going to be honest and real with you, that's a friend! Let's work to be the "always" gal or guy for the good! ;-)

Who Am I..... Living Proof!

"Just because you knew me doesn't mean you know me!" -Marvin Sapp


Whew Lord! I was very active, out-spoken, ambitious, and self-motivated even as a young child. Much of how I am today! I didn't have the hardest life, but certainly not the easiest. I was raised by my mother, and grandparents in a baptist church. I have a younger sister, whom of which I sadly say I neglected in my teenage years chasing my athletic dreams. I never really questioned or worried about where my 'dad' was, and it didn't matter until I got engaged for some reason. As a young child several teachers would say I talked too much and/or I had a bad attitude, but they could never say I wasn't smart and a hard worker! However, I did suck at math. In my intermediate years I wrote poems, stories, ran track, and I loved to dance and sing. Yea, I know... I cant sing! I was the ULTIMATE tom-boy! In middle school I was introduced to volleyball and organized basketball... Much different from playing in my driveway. I began to notice boys, but nothing more than them carrying my books, holding my hand, or hitting me on the butt and running away so that I couldn't slap them. I got suspended for fighting a few times. A few teachers loved me and the others were threatened, bothered, and/or annoyed by my "consistent opinion" (loud mouth). I made a friend of two, but mostly associates. I witnessed my mom go through a very unhealthy and abusive (verbal & physical) relationship. Nonetheless, I left middle school a curious, ambitious, and excited 14 year old virgin! 


My high school years were "off the chain"! Playing volleyball was my first love, while basketball and track & field shared the passenger seat. High school was a field of great opportunity... Cute boys, big football games, and out of state field-trips via clubs like FBLA. To save time, I'll leave major details out... BUT while in high school I drove without a license (permit only), dated the wrong guys, made As and Bs, got hit by a car, played volleyball in Hawaii for 10 days, missed curfew, got real "whippings" (from my mom in the 10th grade), gave away my "hot-pocket", tried a________ and m_________, went to parties, had sleepovers, got in-school detention for dress-code violations, skipped school for Ci-Ci's instead of going to the cafe, lettered in 3 sports, crushed on the older boys, developed bonds with friends and teachers that will last a lifetime, lived in a house without heat for a year, participated in FBLA & SGA, taken things that didn't belong to me, cursed out and snapped on the girl that wanted my boyfriend, ran for Homecoming Queen, won Prom Queen, went on official athletic college visits, and attempted to go to the Marines.... Yes, all that! It's only God's grace & mercy that I didn't get pregnant in high school or college, go to jail, die from alcohol poisoning, and/or kill myself over the guy that didn't want/deserve me.  

Not all things that I am proud of either, but they didn't stop my dreams or change my vision. The core of me wanted to be successful and make my family proud. Most of the things I did happen because I was searching for something and/or encouraged by other factors, but at the end of the day I take full responsibility for all that I have done and every decision I made. Living is not about being perfect, it's about learning, growth, change, and never quitting. Today Natasha is a praying, speaking, sowing, beliving woman of faith, college grad twice that's working on a third, a wife learning to be selfless, a teacher striving to be the difference, a coach committed to pouring passion into the hearts of her players, a friend of sacrifice, and a sister that is supportive and available. And guess what, I'm still loud, out-spoken at times, and very opinionated... Just with more tact and wisdom! I am living proof that success, or the making of, is not the perfect story, but a story that is worth being told to help someone else along the way. I made mistakes, poor choices, and epic fails sometimes, but I am LIVING PROOF that God has a plan with your name on it... Create your vision, make up your mind, and go chase your dreams!! NOTHING CAN BE DONE or SAID TO STOP you, but YOU!

Gone too soon...

Today we are losing so many... Some in time, others by disease, drugs, killings, or in the mist of a night's peaceful rest. One death in 2007 made an immediate impact on my life... My moms only sibling, Uncle Willie a.k.a Sugar Boy passed away August 13, 2007 due to massive heart attack. He was at home with my great uncle at the time preparing for bed. He had the heart attack in his bathroom around 10:30, but because my great uncle can't speak, we didn't know it until the next morning about 10:30 when my mom went to his home to find him and my great uncle on the floor in the bathroom... Uncle Rufus had laid there with him all night. My mom had nobody to call, except me. I pulled up, left my truck running in the street, and ran into the house. I demanded that they let me see him, touch him, hold him one last time. I have NEVER seen my mom in such a broken place... Her bestfriend, big brother, her everything was gone, and nothing could ever replace him. During this time, months to come, I was challenged to be better, more, something I wasn't sure I could be. Through prayer and with faith my sister and I helped my mom grow through a very tough time. My Uncle's passing kept my mom here in Birmingham instead of moving to Florida, and it kept me here instead of moving to Atlanta. Death is inevitable and most times unexpected... We have to LIVE, DO, BE, GIVE, and LOVE while we have time! Live a rich life, and help someone else live an even better one! R.I.P Unc, we miss you, we love you, and I still have my NSYNC cd & remember your jokes about my head ;-)  Remember those wonderful people that have come and gone, and love on those that are still with us... Love is never Lost! 

911, It's sex via text!

Sooooo, technology is giving us more ways to express ourselves and communicate, but how is that impacting our youth? Glad you asked... Today's kids are "sexting"! Yeap, sending vulgar messages and nude pics via text. I have seen it for myself! Female student in the 8th grade sends a pic of her "hot-pocket" to her 'boyfriend'. Of course, as most immature, adolescents would, he sends the message to his friends and they send it to their friends. Before you know it, the 8th grade class has a pic of her "hot-pocket"! O_o Not only is this against the law and a very serious issue, it's degrading and heart breaking that our girls don't know, understand, and/or are not being taught about the treasure they hold. Thank you Lord that all I had access to was a beeper before college because who knows what I would have been doing with a camera phone! Not because I didn't know any better, but because I just did stupid things. We can't monitor every move, but let's go outside ourselves to remind our girls & boys of their treasure and God's purpose for them... The value they should place in their bodies along with self respect, and respect for others. Parents start checking diaries, cell phones, Facebook, Twitter, emails, etc. so that you know what's going on! CONSIDER THIS: I didn't have a cell phone until I went to college; however, I knew to call my mom frequently, she knew how to reach me, and when I was in middle school she was the person picking me up and dropping me off places, so why do so many of our kids "need" a phone? Why are they out at crazy times of the night? Where are your children right now? What are they doing? Who are the with? Hmmm....TAKE CHARGE BEFORE THEY GET CHARGED! 

This is a free country... Right??

"At night I close my eyes and fantasize I'm living well. When I awake I realize I'm just a prisoner in hell." -Tupac (talking to himself as an 11 year old)


Today we celebrate the freedom of the United States of America. Thank you Lord! A country of abundant resources, free speech, the right to bear arms, unlimited education, and control over our lives. So, if this is true, why do so many of us hold ourselves in bondage? Oh, you didn't notice? Take a look around... The sagging pants, broken English, "Easy Money" locations, and renting rims for a car are just a few of the obvious issues. Here are a few more apparent, but less obvious handicaps: The lack of financial intelligence that is exposed in a major way at the beginning of the year, every year... lack of knowledge on government polices, but the vast dependence on monthly government 'support'..the rational that having a baby in high school is expected or considered the norm... the young man that walks into a fast-food restaurant with female house shoes on, dirty sagging shorts, cartoon underpants, a stretched tank top, and a ball cap to ask for an application... What else can you think of that we have committed in our minds as "a way of life"? I was once the female athlete that didn't understand why my college coach didn't allow us to wear head scarfs to/during/after practice, but I get it now! That's something very simple, but it makes a major difference. Enjoy celebrating today with family and friends, but take a look around your home, neighborhood, and community... Make a decision to get out of bondage!!  

The skin we are in...

LOOK AT THE CLIP FIRST...

What do you think about you? What do you think about her? Why do you think that? I have big lips, a big forehead, small ears, a wide waist, nobody's hips, skinny legs, very course/nappy hair, and yet, I know God made me "fearfully and wonderfully". Who decides that I am not enough just as I am? Why do you think you should prefer her skin tone, her hair type, or her body over the one you were blessed with? How would the world be if we looked alike... Same hair, skin, shape, complexion! BORING!!  When is the last time you looked in the mirror and saw someone beaYOUtiful? You haven't huh? Try it... I'll wait. Those eyes, that amazing smile, all you Boo! Encourage someone today by saying something nice about them... Not only does it make them feel good, but you will feel good too! And when someone pays you a compliment, be open to receive it. Black, white, pink, red, purple, green, yellow, orange... ALL created in His image, a perfect image! EXPERIENCE: During a Lacrosse game, a 9 year old girl runs to get the ball for me. After she hands it to me, I say "Thank you pretty girl". She replied, "What did you call me?" I said, "Pretty". She said, "Don't call me that, I'm not pretty". My heart split... How or why does this baby not think that she is pretty? Who has told her that she is not pretty enough times for her to actually believe it? STOP IT!!! Stop saying anything to everyone!! Regardless of the tone/color/complexion/race you are BEAUTIFUL!! Love you, love others, and be grateful for all that you are... Perfect, His image! 

She is YOUman!

Once upon a time I didn't care about too much of anything! I didn't need friends, they were just people I met along the way. If something didn't impact my life directly I was not concerned, and to show that I was hurt was a sign of weakness. That way of thinking is looooooong gone! Today I care about e-v-er-y-thing!! I have friends... Great friends that comfort and support me, cry with and for me, go off on me, yet I know they love me. The hurt and pain of someone else are emotions I'm willing to carry, and the next person's dreams matter. I have changed so much over the last 6 to 10 years, but the core of me remains the same, my spirit. God has always been 'around'. Even during those many times that I stepped completely outside of His will and desires for me, He kept/keeps me safe, He protected me, and allowed me to GROW through it all. That feeling I get when I know I'm wrong... Yea, that's God in me! Some would say I'm mean, I have an attitude, I'm selfish, or that I'm rude. Really, I am HUMAN. I may very well be/have all of those "qualities"; however, that's just a small part of me! YOU determine who, what, and how you are! If you practice being polite, smiling, and thinking before you speak that's who you will become. I practiced not smiling, saying my first thought with no consideration for how I said it, and most times I never thought beyond myself. My emotions controlled me! I know, that's a mess! Guess what... I'm changing! Change doesn't mean losing YOUrself, it means to mature and grow. I've grown to a place where I acknowledge my mistakes out-loud, I admit my fears & hurt, I smile on purpose, cry when I feel like it, I adjust what I want to say & how I say it, and I work really hard to put others before me. I can't stand to hear someone say "Cren has a bad attitude" or "Natasha is crazy!". Nothing is 'wrong' with me and I'm not crazy... I AM PASSIONATE and GROWING!! It's a daily push, but my heart will not allow me to be comfortable or mediocre. Who wants to be mad all the time? I don't want to be the mean, alley, loud girl! I have been her, but now I'm growing to be the mature, controlled, wise version of her. Furthermore, I have great people watching me which demands that I change, grow, learn, and set a positive example. Not perfect, but striving to be better! I AM HERE! 

Turn off the T.V., PLEASE!!

Where do our girls look for guidance or an example? Who do they want to be when they grow up? Are they recalling great women like Rosa Parks, Mary McLeod Bethune, or Maya Angelou? NOPE! They want the 'million dollar' home, and the 'six figure' car accompanied with the rational that shopping, fighting, and disrespecting other women are what being a woman is all about! Reality T.V. has murdered the 'American Girl' image and given false hope to dreams, education, hard work, and compassion/empathy for the lives of others. It's past time for us to find our roots and get our stuff back... The 'stuff' that forced, lead, and propelled Harriet Tubman to, through, and out of the Underground Railroad. We are watching this trash with/without an understanding that it's fake! Scenes created to depict the 'high life' i.e., money, partying, drinking, traveling, shopping, etc., while limited, if any, regard for attending & graduating from college, setting goals, maintaining values and morals, not letting it ALL hang out, demanding that boys/men respect you, respecting YOUrself first, and supporting, loving, & being there for other woman. It's terrible!! Aside from the obvious fact that times are/have changed and seemingly are getting worse, kids are experiencing serious issues, in and outside of school life. We have to help them create a voice... One of hope, love, and individuality! Get uncomfortable, be bothered, and find someone that needs you... No, they will not walk up to you and pour out their story of hurt, confusion, and loneliness, so get outside your little box, pick up your experiences that you have overcome and/or are still dealing with, and let your light shine through for another. If you don't turn off the t.v., at the least, change the freaking channel.... SOMETHING ELSE IS ON!