Once upon a time I didn't care about too much of anything! I didn't need friends, they were just people I met along the way. If something didn't impact my life directly I was not concerned, and to show that I was hurt was a sign of weakness. That way of thinking is looooooong gone! Today I care about e-v-er-y-thing!! I have friends... Great friends that comfort and support me, cry with and for me, go off on me, yet I know they love me. The hurt and pain of someone else are emotions I'm willing to carry, and the next person's dreams matter. I have changed so much over the last 6 to 10 years, but the core of me remains the same, my spirit. God has always been 'around'. Even during those many times that I stepped completely outside of His will and desires for me, He kept/keeps me safe, He protected me, and allowed me to GROW through it all. That feeling I get when I know I'm wrong... Yea, that's God in me! Some would say I'm mean, I have an attitude, I'm selfish, or that I'm rude. Really, I am HUMAN. I may very well be/have all of those "qualities"; however, that's just a small part of me! YOU determine who, what, and how you are! If you practice being polite, smiling, and thinking before you speak that's who you will become. I practiced not smiling, saying my first thought with no consideration for how I said it, and most times I never thought beyond myself. My emotions controlled me! I know, that's a mess! Guess what... I'm changing! Change doesn't mean losing YOUrself, it means to mature and grow. I've grown to a place where I acknowledge my mistakes out-loud, I admit my fears & hurt, I smile on purpose, cry when I feel like it, I adjust what I want to say & how I say it, and I work really hard to put others before me. I can't stand to hear someone say "Cren has a bad attitude" or "Natasha is crazy!". Nothing is 'wrong' with me and I'm not crazy... I AM PASSIONATE and GROWING!! It's a daily push, but my heart will not allow me to be comfortable or mediocre. Who wants to be mad all the time? I don't want to be the mean, alley, loud girl! I have been her, but now I'm growing to be the mature, controlled, wise version of her. Furthermore, I have great people watching me which demands that I change, grow, learn, and set a positive example. Not perfect, but striving to be better! I AM HERE!
Experiences, thoughts, and ideas guided by my vision to live my dream while making a difference and embracing the journey... I am here!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
She is YOUman!
Once upon a time I didn't care about too much of anything! I didn't need friends, they were just people I met along the way. If something didn't impact my life directly I was not concerned, and to show that I was hurt was a sign of weakness. That way of thinking is looooooong gone! Today I care about e-v-er-y-thing!! I have friends... Great friends that comfort and support me, cry with and for me, go off on me, yet I know they love me. The hurt and pain of someone else are emotions I'm willing to carry, and the next person's dreams matter. I have changed so much over the last 6 to 10 years, but the core of me remains the same, my spirit. God has always been 'around'. Even during those many times that I stepped completely outside of His will and desires for me, He kept/keeps me safe, He protected me, and allowed me to GROW through it all. That feeling I get when I know I'm wrong... Yea, that's God in me! Some would say I'm mean, I have an attitude, I'm selfish, or that I'm rude. Really, I am HUMAN. I may very well be/have all of those "qualities"; however, that's just a small part of me! YOU determine who, what, and how you are! If you practice being polite, smiling, and thinking before you speak that's who you will become. I practiced not smiling, saying my first thought with no consideration for how I said it, and most times I never thought beyond myself. My emotions controlled me! I know, that's a mess! Guess what... I'm changing! Change doesn't mean losing YOUrself, it means to mature and grow. I've grown to a place where I acknowledge my mistakes out-loud, I admit my fears & hurt, I smile on purpose, cry when I feel like it, I adjust what I want to say & how I say it, and I work really hard to put others before me. I can't stand to hear someone say "Cren has a bad attitude" or "Natasha is crazy!". Nothing is 'wrong' with me and I'm not crazy... I AM PASSIONATE and GROWING!! It's a daily push, but my heart will not allow me to be comfortable or mediocre. Who wants to be mad all the time? I don't want to be the mean, alley, loud girl! I have been her, but now I'm growing to be the mature, controlled, wise version of her. Furthermore, I have great people watching me which demands that I change, grow, learn, and set a positive example. Not perfect, but striving to be better! I AM HERE!
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Awesome Sis...awesome
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